Road Rage: You Can’t Make Your Own Crosswalk

Dear terrible pedestrians,

Must you walk at an unnecessarily slow speed when crossing the street? Especially when there are clearly many very eagerly awaiting cars that would like to reach their destination?

I mean, why are you taking your sweet, sweet time, lollygagging across the crosswalk. Would it kill you to hurry it up? Just a little.

And don’t even get me started on jaywalkers.

What possesses them to run across a busy road full of deadly cars going over 50 mph is beyond me.

Jaywalking really baffles me. It is especially idiotic when it is pitch black outside and the jaywalker is wearing dark clothes so cars can’t see them until they’re about 200 feet in front of them. causing them to slam on your brakes and possibly get into an accident. This is something I will never commit, purely because of its lack of common sense. You can’t just draw your own imaginary crosswalk – no one can see them!

So please next time you’re considering jaywalking, consider the likelihood of you getting yourself killed and consider another, safer, alternative (such as using a designated crosswalk!).

With love (but also rage),

M. Felt