Most of us when we first think of Halloween candy, we think of candy corn. With its yellow and orange coloring, sickeningly sweet flavoring, waxy aftertaste, and unappetizing names, there are so many better options for the Halloween spotlight.
Candy corn. Candy. Corn. They could not have picked a more fitting name for this treat, because the idea of corn in candy form is gross enough, not to mention that it genuinely tastes like sugary rainbow vomit. I am so thankful that candy corn doesn’t often come in little pouches because if I was a little kid who got “candy corn” in my bag I would cry.
Not only does it taste horrible, but the contents of it are absolutely insane. According to What is Candy Corn made of? the ingredients are straight junk.
Some listed are sugar, corn syrup, salt, sesame oil, honey, artificial flavor, food coloring, gelatin, and “confectioner’s glaze.” What is confectioner’s glaze, you ask? It is a waxy waterproof coating that is secreted by the “lac-bug.” I’m sorry, what? Species of bugs secrete wax to protect themselves and we scoop up the wax and eat it? If you still enjoyed the flavoring of candy corn somehow, this evil list of ingredients should be enough for you to quit cold turkey.
On top of all this, some sick, twisted candy-corn addict decided it would be smart to create more flavors of this candy. More? These poor little bugs are going to have to secrete tons and tons of this wax to pour all over your sick little treat. The worst part is that not a single one of these flavors is even worth trying. Someone made a candy corn pumpkin, like the last thing we need isn’t a bigger version of this abomination.
I think that we should replace candy corn hype with caramel apple love. There are so many different flavors and toppings you can put on, and it’s an apple, so you are actually eating real food with caramel and not a processed disaster. You can also cut it into slices, which I prefer, so you don’t get caramel stuck to your teeth.
Overall, candy corn is way too sweet as well as concocted with basically animal feces, so as a society we should all move away from it and towards fun home-made treats!
