This fall, Buddy Brew released a line of sparkling teas called Sparklers. Advertised as “refreshing drinks, handcrafted for you,” these overpriced, watered-down teas just made me sad.

I thought Height’s Harvest would be a cute, bubbly, pumpkin spice drink, instead, I was hit with disappointment. The lemonade in this drink is completely watering down the strong chai. The sparkling water makes the flavor similar to what I imagine bleach tastes like. In advertisements for this drink, it is shown to have white cream on top, like the pumpkin cold brew from Starbucks. While there was not any foam on my drink, I really don’t think it would have helped the miserable flavor of this drink.

Alligator Alley was at least accurately named. This dark-green matcha drink was a murky, dark green color. I usually like matcha, but this was a disgraceful example of tea. Alligator Alley tasted like how swamp water would smell. Much like Height’s Harvest, adding lemonade to this awful mixture just made it worse. Costing $6.50, this is also one of the most expensive out of the five sparklers available. Save your money and go drink some of the water from the Hillsborough River for a similar experience.

The most disappointing of the four drinks I ordered was Samantha’s Skyway Sunset. By far the prettiest sparkler, it has a pink-to-purple gradient. The fun colors make her look delicious and super refreshing. Imagine my disappointment when Samantha was bland and tasted like a semi-sweet cup of nothing.  This drink was supposed to taste like raspberries. Absolutely none of this so-called raspberry ‘flavor’ was present. Once again, the sparkling water and lemonade not only dulled but canceled out any other flavor in the drink.

The only bearable of the drinks I ordered was the Pirates Paradise.  While the best of the group, I’m not sure I would call it good, however, this was the least disappointing out of the four. Pirates Paradise had a ‘house-made’ grapefruit syrup and was super bubbly. It was similar to sparkling orange juice. It was also the least expensive, only costing $5. If you ever find yourself with your 8-year-old cousin at Buddy Brew and they want a special little drink to feel included, get them this.

I was unable to try two of the total six Sparklers due to supply chain issues. The Bee’s Teas sounds really promising based on the description, “bold cascara with citrusy lemonade and honey.”  I want to try it once it becomes available. I feel the same about the Cold Brew Cream Soda. The cashier told me that this one was his favorite drink that they had there and that some people come in to get it every day. However, he also told me that all of the Sparklers were good, so he was probably lying about that too. As much as I love Buddy Brew, this addition to their menu is a big ‘ew no’ for me.