I have never subscribed to the false notion of being “fashionably late.” I’m not talking about being five to fifteen minutes behind schedule. Life happens and traffic lights, parking, or a misplaced set of keys can throw anyone off for a few minutes. I’m talking about showing up one full hour late, rushing into the event sweaty, hair a mess, and acting like you’ve just graced the party with your presence. That’s not fashionably late. It’s plain inconsiderate.
To me, punctuality is one of the simplest signs of maturity and respect. It says a lot about how a person organizes themselves and how much they value other people’s time. Growing up, I was always taught to be on time because the clock does not revolve around you. If someone has agreed to meet you at a certain hour, it is arrogant to assume they will sit around waiting while you finish whatever delayed you. Being late consistently is not just bad planning. It is dismissive of the people who actually showed up when they said they would.
And here is the part that frustrates me most. The little white lies. I have noticed that friends who are chronically late will avoid admitting how behind they really are. They will text “five minutes away” while still in pajamas, or “just parking” when they have not even left home. If you were simply on time, there would be no need for fibs or the irritation that comes with them.
That said, I do allow one exception when it comes to honesty. If you have friends who are perpetually late, the best strategy is to lie to them a little. Tell them to meet you fifteen minutes earlier than you actually plan to start. More often than not, they will arrive right on time and nobody’s patience is tested. I endorse this method wholeheartedly. I have spent enough afternoons waiting in my car outside restaurants for thirty minutes while my friends “get ready.” It is not fun and you should not have to deal with it either.
Sometimes I wish habitual latecomers could feel what it is like to be on the receiving end of their behavior. But I could never bring myself to do that to someone else. It feels cruel to waste time intentionally and they’ll learn eventually, it’s not anyone’s job to teach other people how to be on time. The only thing you can do is try to remind them that not everyone will be as gracious as you are.
Still, I recognize not everyone grew up with punctual parents. Habits are hard to break when lateness was the household norm. But at some point, you have to take responsibility. The world does not wait forever and neither will your friends.
